Sunday, March 07, 2021

Document Your Life | February 2021

Another month, another video. The "Document your life" video for February is here. 

It has all the good stuff - surprise winter, cute dogs, baby snails, amazingly beautiful yarn, some knitting  and some more random stuff. I especially love the music in this one. It's by my dear hubby and in my opinion it's one of the best of these little background tracks he ever created for me!


The music in all my videos is kindly provided by Mr. Biest. I'll leave you the link to my YouTube channel here in case you want to check out my other videos.

Sunday, February 28, 2021

February

February went by in a blink. It started with another quarantine at work, then we opened again and the last two weeks had been chaos. Not necessarily only bad chaos. There have been a lot of joy of seeing each other again. But it was exhausting, too. I just hope in March everything will calm down and get back to familiar routines.

I also did a bit of knitting and spends some time outside. The weather was all over the place. My car got stuck in a snowdrift and a week later I was wearing a T-Shirt for work. 

When not working I spend a lot of time with my snails. The tiny snail has been very well. And I didn't mention it before, but there have been two more baby snails that turned up a day later. I'm going to keep all three of them and they all have been growing a lot. They are named Pancake, Cheesecake and Poptart. The biggest one, Pancake measures around 2,5cm and the smaller ones, Cheesecake and Popart, are around 1,5cm. I love seeing them grow!

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Yarn Stash Project | 2019 - 2021 | ... and a rant

Do you remember my yearly yarn stash reduction project posts? I didn't do one last year because I had to give up knitting almost entirely. But one boring lockdown weekend I decided to clean up my yarn stash and take inventory of all the yarn I still have. I also gave away a ton of yarn so my stash got a bit smaller. But since I re-started knitting I also bought a bunch of new yarn.
 
But now a few numbers: My last post was the one from 2018. I started into 2019 with a stash of 4.340g. I tried my best to reconstruct how much yarn I used up since then. In 2019 I only worked on two projects and finished none of them. I used up 140g of yarn and added 450g. So that's a plus of 310g for 2019. Here are all my 2019 projects on Ravelry.


So I started into 2020 with a stash of 4.650g. I worked on 4 projects, frogged one of them, finished two and one is still in progress. I used up 480g of yarn and added 130g from the frogged project. I didn't buy any yarn. Here are all my 2020 projects on Ravelry.
 

That means I started into 2021 with a stash of 4.300g. Right now I have 2 projects in progress. My recent stash cleaning resulted in a minus of 790g, my projects used up 250g so far and I bought 1.400g of new yarn. So my stash is at 4.6060g at the moment. I hope that in 2021 I'll finally get back into knitting and my goal is to get my stash back under 4.000g. Let's see how that works out ...


 
And now something I wanted to address for a while ...
In the last few months, almost years by now, I continuously got very unkind comments on here. No, I didn't publish them because I do not want to give negative words so much space. At first, I just ignored them but then there came more and more. And it got me thinking ... Do people actually read what is going on in my life, or are they just here to consume what some random person creates and complain when they don't deliver? I don't know. I admit I'm a bit salty and if this offends you this following rant might not be for you.

I started this blog back in 2009. That's over ten years ago. I was 16 back then. I went through a lot of changes since then and that reflects on my blog. Many old posts are gone, the focus has shifted and so has the audience. I mean, who doesn't change while growing up? I'm not 16 anymore.
To be honest I made peace with the fact that I mostly write for myself and the few people that are fine with reading a few posts here and there. Most interaction takes place on other platforms. This blog has become a place to document stuff. A scrapbook, a kind of digital diary. And that's alright. So I thought ...

But as I said it seemed to have provoked some comments. Comments that were unkind, demanding, and not very understanding. Mostly about why I don't sew or especially knit anymore. Why I don't sew or knit specific things that are not really my aesthetic anymore. Why my aesthetics have changed. Why I have changed. Comments that complained about me posting more on Instagram than on here. Comments that were neither constructive nor helpful. I don't know who wrote them. If it was all the same person or different people that felt the same need to demand 'better' content and complain about my whole being. I honestly don't want to know. I'm here for those who actually care. The people that read my posts actually already know why I stopped knitting for so long. Or why I have no time for big sewing projects. Or how I spend my time nowadays. The ones that understand that people change, evolve and grow.

I don't knit as much (or actually almost not at all anymore) because I had (have) tendonitis in my left  (and right, but not as bad) hand. It was bad, got better, got worse and by now it's okay, but it could get bad again. I need my hands to work and to be honest, I'm still scared of possibly ruining my hand again. I love knitting and I missed it so much, but it's not worth the pain. So if I need to stop, I'll stop. It's not like knitting, or this blog or any of my social media presences are my job or anything. I'm not an important creator at all so I don't get it why these people in the comments decided that I was worth so much effort.

So I have one request: Think before you leave unkind comments.
Think, about what do you want to achieve with that - Do you just want to hurt the other person? Are you frustrated because they don't do what you want? Do you want to make them feel bad about what they did (or not did)? Are you mad because they changed? Do you honestly think you are entitled to whatever content they create?
Yes? Then kindly step away from your keyboard, read up on how to leave actually constructive feedback or just unsubscribe and find someone else that delivers what you want. Thanks. There are tons of creators on the internet that create great content for free so there is no need to stay reading a blog you clearly don't like anymore.

Enough saltiness from me for today.

Thanks to everyone who read through this and decided to stay. Thanks to everyone who didn't leave one of the aforementioned comments. Thank to everyone who reads the posts even if you don't comment. Your constant support is noticed and appreciated. Thank you to everyone that transitioned onto other platforms with me. Thank you all for just being here with me for the past 11 years. I'm not done yet.

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Document Your Life | January 2021

 Here is my first "Document your life" video for the year. It's short and sweet - a lot o snow, some food, some snails, some bugs and a bit of unboxing stuff. 


The music in all my videos is kindly provided by Mr. Biest. I'll leave you the link to my YouTube channel here in case you want to check out my other videos.

Sunday, February 07, 2021

Theme of the Month | January - Communication

The first month of 2021 is over - How was everyones start into the new year? Did anyone else felt like January was like three days but also 47 years long at the same time? It definitely felt like this for me. Now that I'm already a few days into February I'm at the point where I want to look at my theme for this month: 'Communication'. I'm not going to do a whole analysis of what is communication and such. It's a theme, it's a bit vague on purpose and I wan't to look at my achievement and not at possible failures. Not that my communication in January felt like a failure or anything.

The whole lockdown situation more or less 'forced' me to work on my communication if a few different ways. For work I wrote a bunch of letters each week to the kids I usually care for since most of them have to stay at home at the moment. At first I struggled with the idea of having to write letters. My handwriting is not great, I tend to ramble and I had no ideas what to write to a bunch of under 3 years olds. But I managed very quickly to get over that. My colleagues and I exchanged ideas for cute letters, we helped each other out some weeks and in the end I found my way of writing letters each and every week. I'm proud of that.

I also had do a lot more video calls, mostly work related. At first I was nervous. We don't use a nice platform where I can hide my crazy goblin room in the background so I was scared my colleagues would judge me for seeing how much weird stuff I own. But nobody cares. Some just asked excitedly to get a closer look of the terrarium and that was it. My colleagues are great I don't know what I was scared of. I even manage to be calm and relaxed when my boss is in a call and everything. 

I wrote a ton of emails. There was a time when this was hard to do for me, but apperantly I just got uses to it. That's a nice development.

I even had to do a bunch of phone calls. People that know me, know how much I dislike phone calls. But it was necessary. I had some important parent meetings and the phone was our only option. So I got over my nervousness and in my opinion I did really well. I think it's way easier for me to make work related calls than personal ones.

The thing I didn't do as well or as frequent as I would have liked was texting my friends. I'm not even sure if my friends really mind, because most of them I frequently 'see' on Discord. But not seeing them in person and having more one-on-one talks is something that I miss. 

My friends and I use Discord for our (almost) weekly meet ups. It's nice to have a least that. I miss seeing them in person. I miss playing D&D in person, but I'll take what I can get. But I struggle with big and loud groups on voice chats. People almost screaming over each other, interrupting each other all the time and making it impossible to have an actual conversation without turning everything into a dirty joke. It's so overwhelming and I feel bad shutting down and becoming quiet. I want to 'meet' my friends, but sometimes it's just too much. That happened a lot more recently. I don't really know how to solve that.

But I managed to work on my one resolution ("working on standing up more for myself in conversations [...] and being able to say: Stop, saying sh*t like this is not okay!") - I managed to call out a few inappropriate 'jokes' right away. That felt like a huge thing for me. 

So what is my conclusion of this 'communication'- themed month? I now know that I am capable of professional phone calls, video meetings, emails and letters. That great.

But I struggle with keeping up with my personal communication and I need a solution for dealing with overwhelming group voice- our video chats. That's something to work on and just because the month is over, doesn't mean that being mindful about the whole topic of communicating is over.

The theme for February is 'boundaries' and I maybe thinking a bit more about this could help with what was going on in January. Lets see how it works out ...

Sunday, January 31, 2021

January

The first month of 2021 is over. The whole month was filled by the weird feeling of being unproductive while being really stressed at the same time. I worked mostly from home, which was a challenge on it own. It's so very different from what my job usually is. I work with very young children and usually I'm surrounded by a whole bunch of lively kids and of course my whole team of colleagues. Now I'm sitting at home and doing nothing but paperwork all day long. I'm only working one or two shifts a week at my workplace. But that's just how it is at the moment.

When I'm not working I'm trying to relax with some knitting or online D&D, sometimes both at the same time. 

The snails are well and there was actually a little surprise one morning: I must have overlooked an egg and now we have a tiny baby snail. It seems health and hungry and has already grown quite a bit. That wasn't planned at all but I'm really looking forward to see the little one grow.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Rainbow Loop Scarf

A while ago I finished this huge loop scarf, that I started knitting last year. Since I want to get back in the habit of showing my finished projects on here as well, this is what I'll do:


I got the yarn two years ago at a craft fair. It feels like a lifetime ago ... Unfortunately I don't remember the brand or anything. I think is at least 50% cotton but I didn't check or anything. I doubled it with some black cotton yarn. It took me 1 year, 5 month and 28 days to finish this project. I used up 450g of yarn (200g of the rainbow, 250g of the black one). It turned out really huge and cozy. Perfect for this weather!